Avoiding the Lonlies in Leon

I have been trying to avoid talking about feeling lonely in this magnificent place. It seems selfish to be feeling sorry for yourself in the midst of such a gift. I'm not sure if selfish is the right word, but in some ways I really do begin to have feelings of guilt when I am not having as much fun as I believe I should be. Then again, as I reflect on it, I think I commonly experience a sense of guilt around my emotions.

Over the past week or so loneliness has crept into my heart like frigid mountain air penetrating the depths of a mountaineers body, slowly stealing his life. The pain of internal turmoil and suffering is one that I have always struggled to bear. Apparently, at least in my case, the ability to push through pain and suffering in the mountains is not directly transferable to th human psyche. So here I am, traveling day to day, emotions swaying like a ship without power in a tropical storm. But this, I think, is the true challenge of this adventure. Although I regularly have doubts, i know that I am equipped with the skills and abilities to ride a motorcycle around the Americas. There is a bigger question however; "Do I possess the skills to be alone with myself?" I'm not sure how long I will be on the road (I'll be back by the end of April, don't worry). I think I will know the answer when I can discern the difference between giving up and truly deciding that I have reached the end of my journey.

In the meantime I have found a new Welsh friend to help me avoid the lonlies. Andy and I originally met in Copan Honduras and spent all of our time together hanging out. Although we had different travel plans our routes came together again in Leon Nicaragua, my current location. We had a great day at the beach today. Tomorrow we're going to try to find a local volcano on the bike to avoid paying the exorbitant tour fees.

Gotta go to dinner.

I'm still excited for the new learnings ahead...

Thanks for listening,

Jay